Summer's Place

I pushed myself so hard on achieving the teacher’s goal today. Btw I forgot to mention in the previous diaries that I learned to stretch my first canvas :-). It’s painful to hold a plier in the left hand and a heavy staple gun in the right hand and staple. But it’s a lot of fun to actually prepare our own surfaces. It’s so cool. I purchased the wrong fabric on the canvas that it’s too thick for a small frame that is 24’’*30’’. So I met some problems when I stretched it. But the teacher was very nice that he fixed it by stretching the corner~. And he was a very funny person. He pretended to shoot his hand by the staple gun and I was so surprised and worried before he turned around with a grin saying that he’s just kidding. …

I worked on the in class painting again this afternoon. I believe I got every color right. But at midnight the teacher who’s working upstairs went to our studio curiously and talked to me. She said the colors are all right but those objects don’t seem to be together and she recommended me to take Bill Miller’s class of color theory, the color guy.

The teacher said he wanted me to also paint the wall behind so I did it, in a semi-impressionism way.

I also used the palate knife to scrape on the object to create the texture. Like the paper on the book. Like the lines on the bottle. Only in this way, the bottle will seem to be shining. And it’s impossible to use a tiny brush to paint every paper. I feel so happy to explore those new techniques.

And because the teacher only allow us to do hw in 2 hrs. This is what he can expect.

I know I have to finish it tonight so this one seems to be very very lose and sloppy. I found this cool pirate ship in the studio’s storage. And I put my 2 favorite fragrance on it. And also my doggie haha. The Moschino’s I love love is my summer signature smell. The Harujuku’s Love is my winter’s signature smell haha. And I think this painting make sense in a way that a pirate doggie has just succeeded in stealing Summer’s favorite perfume and was sitting back on his way back. And the background was made up by the rest paints that I don’t want to waste hehe.

And of course this morning I did 5 minutes sketch practice again.

I met Duck in the studio tonight. Finally this RISD Chinese guy speaks Mandarin with me. I felt so comfortable. He was born in a artists’ family. How enviable. He also showed me the place we will do the outdoor landscape next Monday. But he’s a little ‘cocky’, a new word that I learned from Julie haha. He said he’s the best painter in RISD without blushing. And he also said everyone in his drawing class was not as good as him. Sigh~~~ Narcissism~ Which you can tell by the perfume he’s carrying… … …

I haven’t packed up my luggage yet. But it’s okay as long as I at least take a credit card and a camera out.

2 am. Gonna sleep.

Summer’s ready to go. The museum weekend. I think I am too obsessed painting.

I have booked the ticket to NYC this Friday and will come back this Sunday. So I really need to finish the homework tmr! I am still trying to mix every color I want tonight, which is a painful process but once you find the right color you feel so happy. Because next week we will go outside for the landscape, I am very stressed that I am not good at quick sketch so I got a little sketch book and sketch everything that interests me.

Each of them are done in 5 minutes. Sigh~ I still have a lot to improve.

It’s Julie and I again planning to work on our in-class painting. She will take her speakers and music and I will take some snacks there and Claire is going to join us cuz it sounds fun. We are going to keep up our spirits in homework. We are going to have a painting homework party~, combining singing dancing eating and painting. Isn’t that great?

I think I will go to New York City this weekend to hang out with Susu. So I really need to work hard on my homework assignment efficiently now.

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I enjoyed the music tonight. Sometimes it feels like in a jungle sometimes it’s classic hehe. You start to be less picky of music when many people are around. And it’s not just 3 of us, Petty and her 2 sons were there too.

This is Claire’s work. She said she’s doing some impressionism on the yellow paper. The color on the water can is so good.

This is mine. Don’t depress me. I tried really hard to find the right color. After being low efficiency, I give up using my eyes. Instead, I found teacher’s advice was so helpful. I dug a tiny hole on the tissue like he said. I brushed some mixed color around the hole. Put the hole on the object. And compare the color in the hole with the one on the tissue and make further adjustment. It’s really a lot of work. Just like focusing on the telescope. You do it back and forth. And I experimented a little about how light is diffused. The color on the plate knife that seems to be exact from where I paint looks so different if I put it right next to the object! And I also compare the feeling of color with different contest that the teacher said. The high light on the yellow bottle looks really bright to me if I look at the bottle as a whole. But actually if I mix the color just with that tissue with a hole. It looks dull. I wish some day I could throw away the tissue. But now I really cannot. Do you think the color of the paper on the table, the book, the yellow bottle looks more real? Don’t depress me. I will fix the rest tmr. I am stupid. I need more time to get to that point. T.T

This is from Petty. The mother of the twins. She’s really cool.

I cannot fall asleep with my work undone. I will go there very early. The major goal of this picture is to get the exact color I see. I love realism now. Because it’s challenging.

Today’s assignment is really easy. It took me only 20 minutes to finish~ But I am not quite satisfied with the thing in the bottom. It’s a flattened bottle that is very tilted to me. I wanna sketch this bottle again until I convince myself. (I was so tired that I fell asleep right after class and got up at 9pm and went to the studio to do hw because I want to sketch the object we are painting and understand them better.)

I’m happy to hear that the teacher thinks the water has been improved too. He said I should do a painting with nothing but water. If I can capture a colorful moment on the water, maybe I will consider doing that.

At the beginning of the semester I am so clear about what I wanna do and where I am going to. But now I am getting confused. The teacher wants me to be subtle and realistic, so I spent a lot of time observing the reality and paint really carefully. But Duck always tells me that the way I am approaching art is only photo-realism. He said I should do something more artistic than that, just like his blurring style. It’s always hard to find your own balance in being artistic and realistic. But one thing is sure. Before doing something like Monet, I must learn how to paint the reality first, then add something to it or simplify it. I won’t lose my big picture and big direction but right now I need to stick to the reality. I believe after knowing how to develop photo realism, it will be easier to add other things into painting reasonably and systematically and stylishly. I don’t think I will lose the artistic side of me after years and years of being realistic as long as I still love the world and my life.

I like today’s class especially the music in the beginning. But the teacher cut the music off every time it got crazy and dramatic. Sigh~ And he changed the music into Yoga music that people can fall asleep with. I am gradually picking up my efficiency in drawing. (I remember when I was in the Junior high school I don’t need to measure anything but only look at how those lines are tilted and can sketch things precisely and quickly. I really miss those days. ) Today’s work is more like kids’ doodling. I relooked at the objects tonight and compared it with mine:

Problems in drawing: the little cup is too small; the blue vase should be more skinny; the paper in the front should be longer; the angle of the book and the handle on the kettle aren’t right~

Problems in color: The value of the orange on the left should be smaller, the kettle and the blue vase needs more grey and should be darker.

Oh no I cannot fall asleep with these problems in my mind. Just wanna go to sleep and fix them in the early morning.

I don’t know why people say that self portrait is the hardest thing to paint. Afraid of what? Afraid of painting yourself ugly? Let’s believe it will be prettier.

There are always so many things to be learned in Miken’s work. I looked at all the paintings. Hers is most realistic in colors. I want myself to be as efficient as her to mix the color I want~!

This is the best! I hope I could be like this at the end of the semester.

It’s always Julie and I working together in the studio. Both of us cannot fall sleep if our work in undone.

These are Julie’s homework. She will work on her ring tonight afterward:

The Book is really HUGE.

This afternoon I fixed the water behind the swan again and it’s now like this: (This is completely photo-realism that I am not interested. But I don’t want to say to people that I don’t do photo-realism because I cannot. I only do this thing once on the water. Now I think I made it and I will never express water in a photo-realistic way again. Next time for the water, let’s do something artistic!)

And I gave the crystal heart the whole thing a grey and blue wash~ Now it seems normal~ The background is not real. I made it up. Sorry.

And I am definitely having a mental block of finishing the piano hand. Somehow I just don’t want to touch that painting again. Somehow I hate that painting very much.

This is the worse painting I have ever done. I hate it.

And when I was waiting for Julie, I started myself portrait on a real canvas instead of a oil painting board. It feels so differently flexible. I like it very much. But I have noticed that the color will spread out after some time.

This is a very efficient sketch. I did it in less than 5 minutes.

Duck came this afternoon and tonight. He told me to not stay after midnight any more because it’s very not safe to do that. He is always very talkative in painting and very good at using terms. I learned a lot of terminologies by talking to him hehe. Now I definitely want to apply RISD 4 years later. He said they have a rule that if you don’t show up in class twice you fail that class and if you fail 2 classes they kick you out of the school. Sounds to be much harder than Brown. Duck is from painting department. He said I am good at illustrations. Oh hearing that, somehow I really want to get rid of all my illustrations in my paintings. I wanna do something else.

Theses are Duck’s homework:

He said I should mail this thing to the museums in NY hahaha~~~

Under the sunshine, with a Peter-and-Wolf mood, I had soy milk with omega 3 and DHA with ginger and honey again, pancake with blueberry and butter, and some nuts, and later I will have a bowl of cherry~~~. TMR is a gift that is never out of stock. And it’s free haha.

Actually I don’t want to hang out at all but I like Patricia. I hope I can ask her to speak Mandarin today. It’s a pain to shop with a Chinese girl and speak English all the way.

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Hi Miss Diary,

It’s 2am. I know you are asleep. I will just sit beside your bed and talk.

I struggled tonight from 9pm to 130am on my previous stupid water. When the water looked like this:

I felt scared and doubted. Stupid Summer. Everyone said this was beautiful and the teacher said it’s wonderful. Now you make the whole thing into a total mass. Now you destroyed everything on the water. Are you sure you will fix it? Stupid!

I felt that I could not stand these doubts haunting me any more. So I called Ace, Daddy CJ, and mommy to chat with me and I could partly forget what I was doing and stop painfully thinking if I was wrong. (Ace talked about himself scared of thunderstorm. Daddy listened to me complaining about life a little and about the Transformer I just watched. Mommy sang really old songs for me from the other side of the earth. And she said this is a duck! How humiliating!!! It’s a swan! Not a duck!And Ace called me again telling jokes and trying to scare me because I told him I was alone in the studio.)

I am the painter of this piece. If I say the water needs to be fixed, it needs to be. Who cares if the water looks real? Who cares if the bird is fluffy? At least me. And why do I care? Because I am Summer. After 5 hrs’ fear and losing my way, my water is now on the way. (I used a semi opaque glaze to totally destroy the previous water and did it all over again.) It’s the obstination that led me to this.

They are not like tissues any more. Because now Summer understand what is subtlety! Water is just a transparent fabric. Water is just a plane with many hills. But the water on the tail of the swan is still stupid. I can fix it.

I learned today: to challenge yourself you need to dare to throw away sth, even if other people like it, and believe it will be better, because you are not challenging others but yourself. I enjoy destroying my things and making myself be without backup plans and have to go for it.

I punished myself tonight to paint this late because I took a break with Patricia. She said she’s bored because she’s only taking a designing class. I like her so I went out with her to watch the Transformer II. The movie is a little scary and I don’t really like it that much. The good transformer defeated the bad one only because the Prime got back to life and they combined together. It’s just because they are stronger. No other meaningful reasons. Hmm… And I got 3 tops 3 pants again. I start hating myself shopping for clothe now. I want to spend every cents on classes, brushes, paints, canvas, and visiting galleries all over the world.

I will be a good fine artist some day. Because I have something you don't have.

Okay you are allow to sleep my Miss Diary.

257am  obsessed Summer